The walk from my grandparents’ house to my mother’s took only a few minutes, but I realized that, with all my walks between the two houses, some were more agonizing than others. Because of my mother’s tone on the telephone, I was apprehensive about this visit. When I reached my mother’s house, I opened the rickety back door, stepped into the stoop, and walked up a few steps to the entryway door that led to the kitchen.
When I opened the kitchen door, my stepsister Sharon was at the kitchen counter preparing something to eat. I immediately said, “Hi”. She quickly glanced at me and gave a slight nod of recognition. She said no words. I had not seen Sharon for approximately one month because I was on vacation with my grandparents in Florida, but she was now wearing maternity clothes that confirmed her advancing pregnancy. This was the first time I had seen Sharon in adjustable pants and an overflowing top.
In writing this blog post, I couldn’t help but digress to discuss teenage pregnancies in the 1960s. Abortions were not legal in Michigan, so if a young teenage girl became pregnant, the only options were to have the baby, travel to an abortion-friendly state (there were very few), find a sympathetic doctor, or undergo what is commonly referred to as a coat-hanger abortion. The last option was incredibly dangerous and could lead to infections, infertility, and even death.
Starting in the ninth grade, young girls would suddenly “disappear” during the school year, only to reappear the following year. Most students knew exactly what was happening. These girls became pregnant and usually went to a home for unwed mothers so they could receive needed medical attention, counseling, and continued schooling. After giving birth, they usually placed their child for adoption. This allowed a previously pregnant girl to return home, finish her education, and hopefully move on with her life. I cannot remember any classmate of mine who kept her baby.
Sadly, girls who became pregnant in high school were labeled “bad” girls. Even the sultry and seductive movie star Mae West was quoted as saying, “When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.” She also said, “Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere else.” Culturally, girls who became pregnant were stigmatized, but through a strange twist of unfairness, the boys who got them pregnant faced almost no repercussions. Among their friends, they were considered studs. A double standard was the norm.
The girls who became pregnant did so because of their inexperience and naïveté about contraception and risk factors. In other words, it wasn’t the bad girls who became pregnant; it was the good girls who simply did not know better.
As for Sharon, she was a sweet and kind person who was probably unaware of the consequences when she became pregnant during a misguided relationship with a married man. Whether she knew he was married or not, I will never know. But I do know that she found herself in a situation she likely never anticipated. I also know that she kept her baby girl, and her potentially carefree life changed drastically.
(Next week: Why did my mother urgently want to see me?)
Missed the other parts?
Subscribe and never miss a future blog post!